Several years ago, I had just finished my Next Level Networking Keynote at a business conference when a woman approached me. She shook my hand and said four words that left me speechless. For a professional speaker, that’s not an easy thing to do.
“You saved my marriage,” She said. After I registered the magnitude of her words, I mustered up a fumbled response. “What did I say?”
During an experiential exercise, she resonated with being wired as an external thinker. She verbalizes to crystallize her ideas and thoughts. However, she noticed that her spouse was an internal thinker. Her spouse gives her a blank processing stare when she speaks to him.
Admittedly, she made his blank stare mean that he wasn’t listening and a list of other assumptions. When I explained the dynamic between these two hardwiring distinctions, she realized that he was just processing internally.
She realized that all she had to do was wait for him to process or ask him if he needed a minute to think about it. Just because he didn’t verbalize that he heard her didn’t mean he wasn’t listening. It also didn’t mean he was ignoring her.
Imagine being in business together. Whether you’re talking to a significant other, business partner, co-worker, or team member, recognizing the way you and others crystallize thought can make a real difference in team performance.
Isn’t it interesting that we know each person has a different style of communicating and doing things, but many people never really realize why that is? Yet, when you create awareness on how you and others are wired, you will be infinitely more effective in communicating, problem solving, and leading.