Many of the core issues that face business leaders today have to do with people interactions. There are all kinds of characteristics and attributes that shape our interactions with others. One of the interesting aspects is your unique human wiring that is at work influencing your thoughts and actions.
We all have a human wiring pattern and some traits are more dominant than others. This wiring tells us how you are best engaged in decision making, how you process thought and communicate, the environment in which you best thrive, and the amount of certainty you need for effective decision making.
You can learn a lot from understanding your wiring, which gets to the root of why you may be repeating behaviors that don’t serve you. For example, over the years, I’ve worked with a number of leaders who are wired with this combination:
They like to create and act on their own ideas. They will advocate for their ideas.
They like to think things through and are direct in their communication style. I call this element the Internal Thinker.
They like to juggle multiple things and are impatient often setting unrealistic expectations for themselves or others.
They like information and structure and want to do things the right way.
The leader with this wiring often struggles with:
Without awareness training, their internal dialog is self-limiting, self-sabotaging or focuses on what isn’t working or won’t work. They tell themselves that they should be farther, faster, or in a better position than they are. Nobody is harder on them than themselves. They often over analyze a situation and, because they want to make sure to avoid mistakes, they follow up very closely and critically.
Since they believe that only they can do it the best, they become the bottleneck. They don’t want to stop long enough to train and reinforce the training of their team because the are on to the next idea. They also have a tendency to want to figure out things for themselves causing their plate to overflow.
Fear of failure, not doing something right, not making the right decision.
The underlying reasons for procrastination can be found in their factor-combination of human wiring elements. Since they are impatient, they procrastinate on a task that they think will require a lot of time. They are an internal thinker and procrastinate on having a conversation especially if they think it will be a difficult one analyzing what to say. They also procrastinate on delegating because they need to figure it out, want it done perfectly, or think it’s faster doing it themselves.
Imagine that this task-oriented leader is responsible for the nurturing and development of a team. This directive leader is in a position requiring the nurturing elements, like reinforcing training, allowing others to contribute ideas, being patient with mistakes of others, and giving kudos.
So, how does a leader wired with all-task elements excel in nurturing a team?
1. Interrupt Your Natural Impulse
Your human wiring is a natural impulse but how you respond is a choice. When you create an awareness that you have a natural tendency to figure out things yourself, you can interrupt that natural pattern. Instead, choose to collaborate by asking your team member how they would troubleshoot a situation. If your team member comes to you with a problem, instead of giving a direct answer (which is your natural impulse), ask them what some potential solutions they could develop to solve the issue at hand. With this approach, you’ll simultaneously be developing your team’s competencies and expanding your leadership skills. This profile also has all task elements, so consider that you may want to avoid social situations. Yet, stopping for a few minutes to socially converse fosters relationship building.
2. Retrain Your Brain.
If you are in the habit of spiraling with negative banter, stop yourself in the moment of the downward slide. Replace the self-limiting banter with what you do want to have happen. For example, if you consistently say, “nothing ever works out” replace it with “opportunities are aligning from expected and unexpected sources right now.” If you look at what’s wrong with something, stop yourself to point out what is good or valuable. With consistent practice, you’ll train your brain in overcoming the self-limiting banter or viewpoints creating space for the idea-expanding aspects of your role that you enjoy.
3. Be Responsible for Clear Communication.
As an internal thinker, this wiring pattern has a tendency to think they verbally communicated something, but in reality didn’t verbalize it. And, because you don’t want to be wrong about the communication, you may have a tendency to deflect your responsibility for the miscommunication. Simply, take responsibility for your part, put in whatever was missing, like identifying a date, managing expectations, etc. and move on.
The bottom line is that you repeat behaviors because your wiring is operating in the background without awareness. The more you create awareness around your natural wiring, the better you become at interrupting the behaviors that no longer serve you.
If you’re inspired to take a deep dive into your human wiring, understand specific tools to optimize it, and level up your leadership, register today for Wired to Win Master Class at https://www.excellerateassociates.com/wired-to-win/ on August 19-20, 2021.