As a leader, applying one of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz,—”Don’t Take Anything Personally”—can fundamentally change how you respond to feedback.

We’ve all experienced that moment. You show a prospective client or customer your product and they say something like, “oh it doesn’t have X” “Is this all there is?” “Not what I was expecting.”

It’s easy to take their comments personally. After all, can’t they see the sweat equity you put into the product or project? Can’t they see the long hours, resources, and effort you spent on it? You feel like they just called your baby ugly.

One day someone came to look at our coworking private office (the other business I also own). He dropped the comment, “I expected it to look nicer with windows.”

Over the years, I learned to not take comments personally. Instead, some of his comments led me to conclude that he was looking for a Class A building. Companies housed in Class A buildings often pay a premium for the prestige, with many features appealing to customers and clients who expect luxury, like marble flooring or cutting-edge environments.

Class B properties, like my Business Innovation Lab, have functional amenities and finishes and are also well-maintained. While they may not boast the sleek glass windows and ultra-modern design of a Class A building, they offer great value and cater to business professionals who prioritize function over form. Of course, many people have also commented that they like the industrial look, the positive messaging throughout, and that the building feels peaceful and clean when they walk through the doors.

First and foremost, it’s essential to remember that feedback—especially when it’s unexpected or offhand—often reflects someone’s personal preferences rather than an objective critique. When a customer or client expresses surprise or disappointment, it’s natural to feel a bit defensive. But instead of focusing on the potential sting of their words, view this as an opportunity to learn more about their needs and expectations.

When someone makes a comment be curious versus defensive. For example, instead of shutting down or over-explaining, you might ask:

“What type of space do you typically work in?”
“What are some of your expectations?”
“What are your concerns?”

These questions open the door for meaningful conversation. Perhaps the visitor values natural light and windows as a crucial part of their workspace. Perhaps they want the aesthetic to reflect a particular brand image. Their response can give you deeper insight into their priorities, allowing you to tailor your services, identify the benefits of your current setup, or simply determine it’s not a good fit.

In fact, by showing curiosity rather than defensiveness, you demonstrate that you’re a leader who listens trying to find the best fit for them. When my building is not a fit, I often refer some of our visitors to a colleague who owns buildings. This builds trust, rapport and a positive brand reputation.

It’s human nature to feel a bit deflated when another person’s expectations don’t align, but the key is to view these moments as learning opportunities. Instead of reacting defensively, dig deeper to understand where their concerns are coming from and how you can address them in a meaningful way.