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Human Hardwiring Lesson: Two Leadership Tips for Saying No

July 7, 2016 by Lisa Mininni Leave a Comment


No way

According to an American Management Association survey, over 25% of a leader’s time is spent resolving staff disputes and miscommunication.

If left unresolved, these clashes only emerge later to create new problems in other areas.

Your understanding of human hardwiring can often resolve many of these staff disputes and miscommunication. As you know, your hardwiring is biological, you’re born with it, and it emerges about two years old and stays with you your entire lifetime.

Wiring is distinct from behaviors. As you know, you don’t behave the same way that you did when you were 18 years old. Why? All of the external influences, like education, culture, and experiences that have shaped your behaviors.

Each and every day, you will communicate through the lens of your own hardwiring. With each person operating to get their own wiring met, it can be tricky to resolve disputes. As a leader, knowing about a person’s wiring comes in handy especially when you need to say no.

Let’s face it. You may be the best boss on earth, but you will need to say no to your employees from time to time.

For any number of reasons, you may need to reject an idea, turn down a vacation request, or decline a raise. If you want the business to succeed, you can’t avoid these types of scenarios.

In a recent webinar hosted by Lorman, I showed business owners and leaders advanced strategies to empower their employees even when turning down their requests. As a leader, you can communicate with effectiveness and grace when you deliver information with a person’s natural wiring in mind.

When you hone the leadership skill of delivering information the way the other person needs to receive it, you’re honoring each other’s uniqueness. You’ll also see improved outcomes more effortlessly.

Here are two tips to keep in mind when having to say no to someone who is wired with a high degree of autonomy:

1. Be in their world.

As a leader, you’re communicating from your own natural wiring, too. Before delivering the news to your team member, be in their world.

Notice the subtle cues others give you in how they want their information. If your team member is higher on the autonomy spectrum they often will use terms, such as I, me, and my instead of we and us. They have a high degree of confidence that their ideas are the best and push back assertively especially if something is important to them.

When you say no or say “it can’t be done” you ping them to want to do it. In fact, you just challenged them. Depending on the amount of this wiring trait, they like, want or need a challenge.

2. Frame it.

Framing how you say something can mean the difference between getting buy in or not. When working with someone whose wiring measures high on the autonomy spectrum, you might say, “I understand why you want to go in that direction, perhaps you could give me some ideas on how you could make that happen while addressing these concerns.”

In framing it this way, you are problem solving with them especially when you have concerns. When they have the ability to put their thumbprint on the idea, there is often buy in. They also may have solutions to the concerns creating an optimal outcome.

To learn more about human hardwiring, join us for one of these two upcoming events:

Thursday, July 28, 2016

FREE Teleseminar:

Relationship Marketing – Know Yourself. Know Your Network. Hosted by Holistic Chamber of Commerce

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August 12-13, 2016

Learn all about your wiring in this LIVE Workshop (includes your AcuMax Index):

Wired to Win – Your Path to Passion, Purpose and Profit

Join our community to get your promo code before July 25!

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: human wiring, leadership

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