A few months ago I shared an experience when a woman approached me after a speaking engagement and thanked me for saving her marriage. As a speaker, it might have been the first time I was a loss for words. She went on to explain that a simple tip that I shared on human wiring related to how Internal Thinkers and External Thinkers process thought made a significant difference in how she interacted with her husband.
As an External Thinker, she processed thought on the outside. She also innately needed a response when she verbalized her thoughts. Her husband, however, was just the opposite. He would give her a blank processing stare and sometimes not respond quickly. She would make the stare and his silence mean he wasn’t listening or didn’t care. After learning about the tip, her perspective changed. She realized that she just needed to allow a longer period of silence for him to process his thoughts.
There is also something else just as important going on in their wiring. It reminded me of an interaction between two of my clients.
Jane was lower on the patience scale and Chris was higher on the patience scale.
Chris was naturally more sequential and methodical in his approach. He asked for feedback from Jane who was lower on the patience scale.
Jane had already thought of a solution and was rapidly firing questions at him. Before Chris wired higher on the patience scale could answer Jane’s first question, Jane was already asking Chris another question.
I noticed what was happening. Chris, who was naturally wired higher on the patience scale became frustrated because he was unable to think through his thoughts fast enough to respond.
Meanwhile, Jane, who was wired lower in patience quickly asked the questions.
Seeing what was happening, I gestured to Jane to slow down her rapid-fire questioning to someone who was both an Internal Thinker and higher on the patience scale. We all laughed at the situation recognizing that the natural wiring was at work in the interaction.
Just because someone is wired lower or higher on the patience scale doesn’t mean either can be patient at times. Rather, in part, it tells you how you work and can influence the pace of your communication.
If your wiring is lower on the patience scale, it creates a short attention span, which creates more of a juggler. It’s one of the underlying reasons my client lower on the patience scale jumped to the next question then quickly to the other. Jane was not only an External Thinker but she was trying to generate a response more quickly.
Conversely, if you have a greater patience level, it creates more long term focus; therefore, you’ll be more sequential in your work flow.
What’s the value in knowing human wiring?
When communicating with a person who is your opposite, your message may get lost, get misunderstood, or be ineffective.
The next time you’re networking, interacting with a prospect or strategizing with a client, remember that pace matters.
Become skilled at knowing the pace when delivering your communication to improve your effectiveness.
If you want to become highly skilled at spotting human wiring in others and understand your own wiring, today is the last day to save on tuition for the Wired to Win workshop on June 28-29, 2018 at our new headquarters in Livonia, Michigan.
You’ll receive a comprehensive report on your own human wiring mix and learn extremely value-added ways to be highly effective whether you are enrolling others in an idea, product or service. This workshop is perfect for business leaders, business owners, solopreneurs, and other professionals. Our clients have increased their sales, decreased turnover, improved performance, and more.
Upon registration, we’ll call you to schedule a personal conversation to identify specifically what you want to get from this workshop, too.
Information and Registration:
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